"How did it come to pass that an opposition's measure of a president's foreign policy was all or nothing, success or "failure"? The answer is that the political absolutism now normal in Washington arrived at the moment--Nov. 7, 2000--that our politics subordinated even a war against terror to seizing the office of the presidency." - Daniel Henninger - WSJ 11/18/05
"the slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts." - George Orwell

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Illegal aliens entering from the North, too

The thought of a Northern border always pops into my head when I'm posting something about the Souther border issue. We tend not to cover that direction of the argument, it is however an entry point into our country.

Cross posted from Right Truth:

What about illegal aliens and/or terrorists entering the United States through the Northern border? We don't need to put all our border patrol eggs into the Southern border basket. But just for a few minutes let's lighten up and have a few laughs at the criminal invader situation. As the saying goes, "all work and no play, makes Americans, well, dull." ha Filed under 'humor, satire, liberal spew'.

I want to know why the government seems so concerned about the flow of illegal Mexicans, but barely gives a glimpse north — where Les Habitantes are massing.

Who will stop this vast horde of conniving Canadians, desperate to steal our jobs and get a taste of forbidden freedom? What does the northern border get? Three new port-a-potties and a drug-sniffing raccoon named Mindy.

I fully believe that the Canadian border should be a priority, not an afterthought.

Canadians can creep from tree to tree with no chance of being spotted from above. And by above, I mean by an agent perched on top of the tallest tree he can find; all the air support is in the South.

Also, once the Canadians are in our country, we can't discriminate against them based on skin color, because they look just like us.

Police can't just pick up all the Caucasians in Clinton County and truck them to the border. At least not in one trip.

Sure, if you trick one into speaking you might catch the accent and can demand a green card, but I'm told that Canadians from outside Quebec might not even have the accent.

That isn't dangerous?

Worse yet, once the Canadians get in here, they're not satisfied with the jobs we don't want to do. They won't happily pick fruit or clean houses or dig ditches. They want to be middle management. They want to be civil servants. They want to be columnists.

Once they have our jobs and they're fully integrated into our society, they'll start to make changes. Changes we won't like.

They'll spread universal health care, pastries and hockey wherever they go. Football will be replaced by curling. Police cars will be replaced by horses. Spring will be replaced by three more months of winter.

They'll try to install a puppet government, with a prime minister and parliament and viceroys and grand poobahs.

They'll force everyone into gay marriages. And no, I don't mean happy marriages.

So what can North Country natives do to stem the tide of illegal immigrants from the Slightly More North Country?

We can organize our own Minuteman vigilante patrols. We have plenty of gun-toting patriots willing to give up some free time to secure our borders. Deer and duck hunting seasons will continue to be limited, but Canuck hunting season will have no restrictions.

We can build a wall along the border. It will have to be high enough to dissuade climbers, say 75 feet, with broken glass across the top, and cover 5,000 miles or so.

Assuming we can get the people in the Pacific Northwest to start out there and meet us halfway, I think we can get it done by Friday. Shaving 100 percent off school funding and Medicare should be enough to fund it.

Until the wall can be built, however, we'll simply have to outsmart them.

We'll catch them with specials on cheap liquor at the duty-free stores, or we'll set up faux gas stations offering gas for 79 cents a liter (that's like 20 cents a gallon to you and me).

We'll lure them in with a discount Rocket Richard memorabilia store (autographed, sweat-stained athletic supporter, only $87!) at the border, then launch them back over the partially built wall with a catapult.

As a last resort for locals, we could start our beloved bridge to Vermont in Canada instead of Plattsburgh, at least keeping the aliens off New York soil.

We'll work on keeping the border to Vermont secure later. By Steve Ouellette source

**This was a production of The Coalition Against Illegal Immigration (CAII). If you would like to participate, please go to the above link to learn more. Afterwards, email the coalition and let Brian know at which level you would like to participate.**


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